Friday, June 1, 2012

June 1st


I can't believe it's already June 1st.  Today marks the month that our son will be born!  It's hard to believe that we have been waiting for this month to arrive since way back in September when we found out we were expecting.  And what a journey it has been.  

This month, particularly this day, holds a special place in my heart.  Today is my brother's birthday...he would be 27 today.

{Me holding my little baby brother}

It's hard to believe he has been gone for 6 years.  A part of my life stopped the day he left us...and yet I can't believe how much life has still gone on.  I think about the fact that I'm welcoming my son into this world...my own little boy who I have so many hopes and dreams for.  My own little boy who I hope to see grow into a successful young man and have his own family one day.  I want things for my son that my brother never got the chance to experience...his life cut short far too early.  I wish he could meet his nephew and teach him all the things he loved to do, like how to create with legos or how to build a skateboard ramp or a treehouse, how to excel at any sport he puts his heart and mind to...and most of all how to dream.  

{Celebrating my college graduation...our last photo together}

I also wish that my son could know his uncle...a young man who was extremely talented with his hands, tenacious, hard-headed, loving, driven, competitive, confident, and above all passionate.  He had a zest for life that was contagious...he seemed to always be a part of the next big thing and he dreamed big.  He was a loyal and fierce friend and dog lover.  Though he was my younger brother, he was protective, like a big brother would be.  We were also fiercely competitive...which in reflection seems so petty now.  However, I know above all, how much he loved me and how proud he would be to an uncle.

Our son's middle name will be after my brother, Grant, in honor and memory of him.  I know he's shining down on us and will protect our little guy like he did for me.

Thanks for allowing me to open up and share today.  I know that June will bring us more joy now than sadness and that makes me so very happy.  It's funny how life works that way, don't you think?

Happy Birthday Brother...love you always!

xo natasha

52 comments:

  1. June 1st is a good day. It's my birthday too.

    I'm sorry your brother couldn't be here in person to meet your son, but he will be in spirit. ((hugs))

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  2. Oh Natasha, I'm sobbing over here. What a beautiful post.

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. I'm sure he will be Baby Boy Schue's angel and watch closely over him.

    I'm so excited for you this month and all the joys you will soon experience! Motherhood is the most amazing thing. EVER.

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  3. natasha- thanks for sharing. What a sweet post about your brother. My mom lost her brother when she was 18 and he was 20. They were incredibly close as I am sure that you were with your brother. The loss of my uncle has been huge void I have always felt in my life- not ever knowing him. I believe your sweet baby boy will be honored to carry his uncle's name! Best wishes to you!

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  4. Such a thoughtful post... I wish I could give you a hug. I am positive that Grant will be there as you welcome your son into the world and will continue to watch over him as he flourishes in life.

    I hope you have a good weekend my friend...

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  5. I am really sad for you and your son today. that last photo of the 2 of you is beautiful!!

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  6. Wow! What a great way to honor your brother!

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  7. Thank you for sharing. Your posts are always so thoughtful.
    I named my son Lance after a friend of the family that passed away. The name seems to keep the memory alive. : )

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  8. Oh Natasha...my heart is heavy for you and your family today. Grant sounds like an amazing person and brother. How special that baby Schue will have a part of his name in his own. Sending you a big hug today.

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  9. Thank you for sharing. He will be so proud of your son, I just know it

    x

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  10. birthday month for the wee one is finally here...what a beautiful tribute to your brother sweetie--i know he'll be looking down on you ;)

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  11. I truly think it is no coincedence that your baby will share the same birthday month as your brother. Think of it as a gift from him...just like you said, this month will now bring you more happiness than sadness and I'm sure that is exactly what Grant had in mind :)

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  12. ahh natasha, that brought tears to my eyes. however, i like how you can now look at june in a positive light.
    i'm getting excited about the arrival of your little one :) have a great weekend xx

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  13. I can not imagine losing a sibling. This post makes me want to hug my brothers immediately! I'm so sorry for your loss but I know your little guy will still "know" his uncle because you will instill qualities in him that your brother would have. One day they will get to meet again in heaven! Sending prayers and hugs your way today...

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  14. such a sweet post.
    and June is BABY MONTH! i can't believe i can say "i'm having a baby this month"!! eek!

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  15. Such a sweet post. I can't imagine the heartache from losing your baby brother, but I know your baby boy will honor his namesake and make you and Grant so proud. Thinking of you today and sending prayers to bless you, your family and Baby Schue!! xo

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  16. Wow Natasha, though it's been a while, I'm so sorry that you no longer have your brother with you, but I have a feeling that he will definitely be watching over you little Schue and sending down signs and blessings to him to be the best he can be. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers today, and I'm so happy for you and your hubs to be so close to that next beautiful blessing.

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  17. Writing through blurry eyes over here. I'm thinking of you today, it's never easy to lose someone you love especially way before they should be gone. Your son will remember his uncle through your memories and stories. **HUGS**

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  18. It really is so fitting that your sweet son will arrive this month. Grant will always be a part of you and now your son as well. I loved seeing the photo of the two of you. I cherish my last photo as well. Love to you. Happy Birthday, Grant. {Maybe he and Tim are livin' it up today!}.

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  20. What a sweet post to honor your brother - it certainly brought tears to my eyes!

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  21. So this just made me cry. yes the full tears on cheek part. He would be very proud of you and would be so grateful for those lovely words.

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  22. Such a sweet post to your brother. You know he is watching over you and will be your sons guardian angel :) I agree with Courtney that he will have a June birthday for a reason :) Can't wait for your son to be here!!

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  23. Such a beautiful post, Natasha. I'm sure your brother is thrilled by everything you're doing in your life, and will be watching over your baby boy as if he was still here. Thank you for sharing this with us!

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  24. Although you were so lucky to have Grant in your life, he obviously was so lucky to have you as well. He will live on through your little one by the stories you tell. Couldn't imagine a more fitting tribute. Thinking of you and wishing Grant a happy birthday today. xoxo

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  25. This post is beyond touching and my heart brakes for you and your family. I know that your little one will hold more than just his name; he will share all of those wonderful qualities that you described. He is a June baby for a reason and I am sure your brother is already telling everyone in Heaven he’s going to be an uncle!

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  26. This is such a great tribute post, and I hope this month brings you all the happiness in the world!

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  27. Natasha, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. I'm sure he had everything to do with this baby of yours coming into the world the same month of the year that he left it. How joyful it will be to tell your little boy about the antics of his uncle Grant!!

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  28. happy birthday to your dear brother.

    i am so sorry to hear of you loss. but you have wonderful stories to tell your son about his uncle. i am sure he will be smiling down on you both when you tell them :)

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  29. I am so sorry to hear about your loss! I have a younger brother too and cannot imagine loosing him. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.

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  30. Natasha, what a moving post about your brother. I am so sorry to hear that he won't be around to enjoy his sweet nephew. But I have a feeling he knows and he's looking down on your little family, protecting you, just like you said. Hugs.

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  31. What a sweet post, sending thoughts your way! :)

    and yay for June...the month of our babies!! :)

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  32. Thank you for sharing Natasha. Beautifully written. Your brother will most definitely be watching over you and his new nephew! Sending loving thoughts your way Sweetpea.

    xoxo, Sarah

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  33. This is so sweet. I am sorry that you lost your brother. I have never lost anyone really close to me but I know it will be extremely difficult when it does happen. I think he would be proud that your son will have his name and his middle name.

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  34. natasha, i'm so sorry for your loss. i can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like. but i will say, being a fantastic big sister will only make you a better mama to your boy.

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  35. My thoughts are with you today...what a sweet post.

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  36. What a bittersweet post. I love that your son's middle name will be after your brother so that his memory will live on in more ways than one. When my day finally comes and if we have a son, Cameron and I are going to name him after his brother that passed away way too young, also!

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  37. Natasha, you are in my thoughts today. What a sweet photo of you and your brother. It is meant to be that baby Schue will be born this month! And, what a wonderful way to honor your brother by giving your son his name as his middle name. Your son will be so blessed.

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  38. I was just catching up on your blog, I havent read in over a week and there are so many things to comment on but then I got to this post. How heartbreaking that you lost your brother so young and how important that you will allow your son to carry on his legacy in a way. Prayers to your family on this day!

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  39. Its so bittersweet to welcome a little boy and then get a little sad to think about all the loved ones that have gone before us and wont be able to meet that little bundle. We are also naming our son after my grandfather who I miss daily.

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  40. Its so bittersweet to welcome a little boy and then get a little sad to think about all the loved ones that have gone before us and wont be able to meet that little bundle. We are also naming our son after my grandfather who I miss daily.

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  41. Oh natasha--I love that you are naming your son after his uncle. I know your brother is honored and so so proud. :) I am so sure that you miss him so much and it is so sad that you lost him when he was so young. Sending you hugs and prayers.

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  42. So sorry about your brother, I have 3 brothers and I can't imagine loosing one of them; love that you're naming your little one after him.

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  43. what a sweet post, so sorry about the loss of your brother.

    Life is funny, isn't? How all the dates in the world and your son is being born under the same month as your brother. I have a feeling he will look and act a lot like your brother. It will be like your little boy has a piece of him, how special :)

    Thank you for sharing with us! :)

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  44. Natasha -- what a sweet and special post! I'm totally choked up. What a special month, for your son and your brother to share a birthmonth and name. xoxoxo

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  45. What a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss and think it's so special that you're able to name your little guy after your brother. I have a feeling he's going to make his uncle very very proud!

    Can't wait until the little guy is here! xoxo

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  46. What a beautiful and touching post. I am sure he is looking down on you and your sweet baby boy.

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  47. Such a heartfelt dedication to your brother, he is definitely looking down on you and smiling big. xoxo

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  48. Natasha, how beautiful for you to honor your brother with his name in your son's. June will definitely have new meaning now. I pray for much joy in your future although I know you miss your brother so much. I bet your brother will show you in some way that he is a part of it all, witnessing and loving from heaven.

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  49. This was absolutely beautiful. I believe a part of your brother will most definitely be a part of your son. Life is pretty amazing in these kinds of ways especially :)

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  50. Hey girl, I'm thinking about you! I haven't been on blogland much, but so glad I decided to pop in to see how your pregnancy is going! I hope you are feeling great! Again, I'm so sorry about your brother. I know this month will be extra emotional because of his birthday and the happy events he will miss out on. But remember he's not really missing out. In fact he gets to watch every second from up above. He'll be your little one's guardian angel. That is so sweet to pass on his name. Love that.
    Anyway, thinking about you... xo Rachel

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  51. my little brother's birthday was june 1st too. i was shocked to see the date when i scrolled up to check the date! he passed away in 2001 and would have been 31 this year. we will always miss our brothers.

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